"The best interests of the child": Anyone who has been through a divorce, paternity action or other family law proceeding will recognize these words, because they are a cornerstone of the legal process. If the family court must issue an order that implicates the welfare of a minor son or daughter, the law requires that his or her interests be considered before a decision is made.

This is the same whether the court must resolve disputes over child custody and visitation, child support, or a post-decree modification of any of these matters. Children are generally innocent bystanders when parents decide to part ways. While fathers and mothers may wisely foresee how separation or divorce will prove beneficial to their children in the long run, kids are almost always extremely sensitive to any ill will that their parents may feel or express.

For that reason it is extremely important that parents strive to insulate their kids from the difficult adult realities of divorce. At all stages of the process, arguments and negative opinions of a spouse should be kept out of sight, and parents should actively engage their children to keep tabs on their feelings. Consistency is vital, and visitation schedules and special occasions must be honored and maintained.

A Virginia Family Law Attorney Can Help You Understand Your Options

A wide range of family resources are available to help parents minimize the effects of the divorce process on their children. Co-parenting and anger-management classes can help parents develop strategies for efficient resolutions to everyday conflicts that can undermine a child's sense of security.

In some cases, the court may order such classes to facilitate a better sense of cooperation between parents. In cases where neither parent seems capable of suspending their own interests to the detriment of the child, the court may appoint a guardian ad litem - in essence, the child's own attorney who can ensure that his or her interests are heard.